Finish Line

  

I crossed another finish line on Friday when I finished radiation treatment, but it was not without drama. Let me take you back to my first week in radiation. There was a woman finishing her treatments ahead of me and she was so excited as it was her last treatment and then the technicians come out and say the machine is down and she has to come back on Monday. I said to myself, that would suck to be so excited and then to have to wait a whole weekend. So I kept this in the back of my mind and when everyone around me was getting excited, I just said it ain't over until it is over and wasn't I a smarty in doing so cause there I sat on Friday when the technician came out and said the machine was down. I just laughed and said, "of course it is". However, they were able to squeeze me in at another office an hour later, so I did finish and had the weekend to celebrate! 

Yes, I am still burned, but it is getting better. Every now and then I feel pings of pain and tingling, but nothing horrible. I probably look funny though when I get them cause I make a funny face and grab my boob.

I went to the Lucky Goat soap shop here in town to get little gifts for the technicians. While there I was talking with the owner and master mixer of the soaps, who is a good friend of my friend. She gave me some things to try on the radiation burn. I have been using the goat milk soap daily in the shower and the Mama and baby butter lotion and I gotta say I can feel the difference. My skin feels better and after I put the lotion on I can feel less pain within 10 minutes. Once I am healed better she also gave me some JuJu lotion to help me heal. You all know me, when I find something I like, I tell everyone about it, so get out there and go get some Lucky Goat. Her shop is right behind Doug's Fish Fry. Thanks again Amy for the gift bags & for hooking me up! 

My hair continues to grow pretty steadily, so much so that I had to shave my legs! I looked just like this pin up except I don't need the towel for my hair on the head yet, I had on higher heels, and Matthew McConnaughey was holding my towel. Seriously though, my eyebrows are back and I can see eyelashes. 

I now have more hair on my head than my tanned Dad and about the same as Andy, although my hair is coming in soft and peach fuzzy so it looks like Andy has more hair in this picture. 

here is the cute bald couple now! 

When I got home from radiation on Friday there was this balloon flying in the wind on my front walkway that said, "We Love You" It was a very sweet gesture from my girls to mark the end of radiation. Love it and thanks! Ruby thought it would be a good idea to bring it to the castle and let "cancer" go off of the roof top, so we did.

Here the cancer tried to come back and kick me one more time, but I said no, get out of here and gave it a good punch.

Then off it went, out of my life as quick as it came. Bye Bye Cancer!

So now I have started the Tamoxifen, a daily pill for the next five years, along with my cancer fighting Pro Pack vitamins. Just a spoon full of pills makes the sugar go down.

 My previous three years of cancer free is wiped clean, I start again, aiming for that five year recovery date when I can say I am cancer free. Until then,  I start the post cancer regimen of eating healthy, exercising, getting my rest, going to follow up appointments and living each moment with gratitude & love.

Thank you to all my friends and family for the many cards, gifts, meals, love and support you have given me and my family through all this.(Janet wins the card giving having sent 30 cards since my diagnosis!)

 We could not have gotten through as well as we did without all of you! 

Now stop worrying about me and get on with your lives, I am.

120 Seconds

                               

RADIATION 

        120 seconds is the amount of time I have to do radiation next week to be done with treatment.
I completed the last of the wide radiation coverage today and then my Doc came in and she and the technicians elevated me, spun me around, and drew on me, all while I laid helpless on the table, the spinning part was quite fun as I had never done that on the table before.
        As I said in last blog, the boost is a bit different in that they are isolating the treatment area to my incision which is the most likely site for cells to be hanging out at if they didn't already get them with the surgical removal, chemotherapy, or previous radiations. It also involves a cone shaped attachment onto the machine which gets very close to me, but does not touch me. The other difference is instead of 10-15 mins, it is only 30 seconds, so 5 days of 30 seconds gets me 120 seconds left!

This is 28 days of radiation and what it did to my skin. looks yucky, but there are far worse out there and I luckily got no open areas. It is sore, but I will continue with the creams and it will be better in no time. The blue mark is the boost site, so that area will get a bit worse over the next week.

                                     
                   This is the radiation machine with the cone attachment which will deliver my boost.

HAIR

Can you tell which one is the peach fuzz on my head and which one is the real peach? They look and feel pretty similar right now. It is very exciting to be feeling something on my head again. There are some longer darker hairs in the back according to Ruby which see says are growing very fast. I did alittle research and apparently your hair only grows about a half an inch a month, so this is going to take awhile, but it is exciting all the same.

NEXT STEP

I had my 6 week follow up with the Oncologist. My labs were OK. I am still anemic and my white cells are on the lower range of normal, but that is expected. She said I look good and we talked about the Tamoxifen.  This is a pill I will take once a day for the next five years which also helps decrease the chance of reoccurance. Yes, as with any medication there are side effects, but the benefits of taking it outweigh any of the risks. I am not going to drive myself crazy looking at the side effects, if I get some, I will deal with them, if I don't, lucky me! 

I don't go back again to the ROC for three months! but it is back to radiation on Monday, my last Monday!

My sister found this picture for me and thought it should be included on the blog, so thank  you Sis, here it is! 

Ten days to go!

I had my 23rd radiation treatment today which means I only have 10 more to go. That works out to two more weeks and I will finish on Rex's 14th bday! I am starting to burn, which is expected even with all the applications of lidex and aquaphor cream I have been doing up to this point. Having done some research, alot of people burn alot sooner and alot worse, so while it is becoming uncomfortable, it still could be worse. 

It looks like a sun burn, as you can see, but they say it is more comparable to a chemical burn. It still amazes me they are able to isolate so much where the radiation goes. 

For the five treatments next week they will continue to radiate the larger area they have been doing, getting the surgical site and lymph nodes. The last week they do something called a boost where they isolate the radiation to just the surgical site. Research shows woman with early stage breast cancer, over 40, benefit from this boost in that it reduces the likelihood of reoccurance. As I went for a full 8 treatments with chemotherapy, I felt going for the boost was yet another way to try and prevent having to deal with all this again. Aggressive yes, but I am worth it! 

Yes, fatigue continues as everything is accumulating (surgeries/chemo/radiation) and I have not been good about napping and getting to bed early. I am working on that now as I am getting up much earlier to get the kids off to school. 

One thing I was looking forward to all summer was going to the JasonMraz/Christina Peri concert over Labor Day. Well I have some great friends and one of them got me into the sound check for the show and as you can see here, we also got a meet and greet. Music makes me happy, especially from these two people and they did not disappoint, it was a great show and they were very nice.

I have my 6 week post chemo follow up with Dr. Lemke, the Oncologist, next Monday, I'll let you know how that goes. 

Jason said he would send me some extra LOVE during the concert, so I am sending it on to all of you! 

I'm still here

Had radiation treatment number 17 today which means I just passed the halfway mark to 30. 

All continues to go relatively well with treatments. I continue to have the lump in the throat feeling on and off, I continue with hot flashes, I continue to be tired, and I am starting to get a slight burn, but overall those are all minimal side effects to what I could get and to what others experience. My body, while initially giving me this disease, has responded well to the treatments and I have been very lucky in that way. So, no news for 10 days simply means, status quo and not much to report. 

I do have to say that radiation does take its toll on you, but in a different way from chemo. 

The driving back and forth for treatment every day can be tiring in itself, but it does give me the opportinuty to get all my swearing out, my kids say I yell alot at other cars when I drive and it's not summer in Syracuse unless there is construction and stupid drivers everywhere. I know, on the bright side, it isn't winter.

 Once at treatment, lying half naked on a table with my hands above my head exposed to the technicians coming and going and marking my body with sharpie's takes some getting use to. One time one of the male technicians was leaning over my bare naked right boob to mark the big X on my left chest, "oh hello technician, nice to meet you, why not rest your face on my breast while you work!" I feel, and am, very exposed in more ways than one.

I guess the only other big news for me is that I signed a contract with Syracuse University and I will be starting a new job there on October 16th as a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner in student health services. I am very excited and have been waiting for an opportunity like this for a long time. I think it is a perfect fit for me and SU has been great about waiting for me until I am done with all my treatment. It is a nice goal to be looking towards through all this.

It's back to school for the kids next week, so we are all busy trying to prepare for that this week and of course trying to fit in everything we didn't get to do this summer that we wanted to. 

I can't believe, but am happy, how quickly this summer went, it's not one I want to repeat and my list is very long for next summer! 

Radiation continues

Had radiation number seven today, not very exciting when you think I need to have about 30 total, but plugging away. The drive in and back isn't too bad, the staff are very prompt and I rarely have to wait, and the radiation process itself is painless so far. It is so amazing we have these machine that can rotate around us and zap us right where we need it. 

 

I have developed a side effect from radiation which is unusual for me as everything has been pretty good up to this point. It is called globus pharyngeus. That is a big word for feeling like there is a lump in my throat when I swallow. That can happen, due to irritation caused by radiation to the throat, anytime you are radiating near the throat. They are radiating my left clavicle area, down along the outer aspect of my left breast and along my armpit. I can still eat and drink, I just have to do it in smaller bites and slower. 

Here is the port incision. I was suppose to keep the steri-strips on it longer, but I was having a skin reaction to them and starting to develop blisters, so I took the strips off and now just have a 2x2 pad covering it held in place by the strap of my shirt, it looks good otherwise, just a little discomfort there.

I think I forgot to tell you that after I was bragging about still having my eyebrows and eyelashes a month ago, they left me after the 5th chemo. treatment. I was trying to put makeup on to make it look like I had something, but it was useless, so I now look like a full fledged cancer patient. I know I am always having fun trying to hide behind the colorful wigs, but this is it folks.

Deported from Chemotherapy

Dr. Kort and her team deported me today! 

I had a scheduled office visit with her in which she gave me some lidocaine at the port site, made a small incision, cauterized the vein, and pulled the port right out. She stitched me up with inside stitches, put a couple of steri strips on it, put a bandage over it, and I was deported forever from receiving chemo! 

She said the worst and most painful part was the shot of lido, but that didn't hurt that much. She had some students in with her, so that was a nice distraction and we were all just gabbing away. 

Here is the port that was in me, I am thinking a necklace, but maybe a bracelet. 

I showed it to the kids when I got home and they were grossed out and wouldn't let me take it out of the bag. I wasn't able to take a picture of the procedure due to the angle of it and I couldn't even get my head cocked down enough to see, so all I have to show you at this point is the bandage. My Mom came with me, but the nurse asked her if she was a "quesy" person and the nurse could tell from her delayed response that Mom wasn't coming into the room to take pictures of the procedure.

So, the lidocaine is wearing off and they is some pain at the site, more just stinging and pinching, nothing alittle motrin can't handle.

I was to have my 8th radiation treatment this morning also. They have been going well and no side effects to report yet, but this morning I got up on the table and stripped down all ready to go and the machine arms wouldn't move the way they are suppose to. They tried to fix it, but it was a no go for today. 

I'll be back at it Monday.

Radiation begins

So I had my first radiation treatment today. 29 more to go. I will have it every day, Monday - Friday, for 6 weeks. These first few are a bit longer at 20-30 minutes because they are still getting me placed and marked. Once they perfect that they say the treatments will just be about 10-15mins. 

Last week they fitted me with my very own foam mold like this one. It helps keep me in the exact location better, I hope they let me take it home when we are done, it's so comfy.

So this is similar to the machine they use. I am lying flat on my mold, with my arms above my head and the machine moves all around me, my job is to lie flat, don't move, and breath normally. Seems easy enough and definitely not my strong points as far as lying flat and not moving, but this will give me a good opportunity to get better at it. They said I did good today, yeah me! 

"X: marks one of my spots here. I have two more on each side of my torso, as I mentioned last blog, they are just drawn on with a sharpie and good thing cause they moved this one alittle bit today.

So as far as the experience, there was a lot of machine noises, staff yelling out numbers and coordinates, lights going on and off, and me just lying still practicing mindfully lying there and breathing normal.

I won't bore you with every radiation treatment, but do stay tuned, I get my port out next Friday, that should be interesting!