Hair Update & Happy 48th Bday to me!

On this, the verge of my 48th Birthday, I thought it was about time to post an update

So, May 2012, when Andy took the razor in hand, per Rex's request, and gave me a Mohawk as my hair was failing out in clumps by now. As Rex said, "when are you ever going to want to do a Mohawk again?" Ruby did not like it, it "freaks me out!"

 

I think I rocked it! It wasn't for long, as within a week it was all gone.

Well, that was TWO years ago! and today I now have a full head of hair and it looks pretty cute! Thank you Kim and Matt!

It is amazing how important HAIR becomes through this whole process. I like my hair for the first time since I lost it, but I still don't feel like me and hate pictures of myself because I don't look like I did! Gaga had it right with her song about hair.
                               Sorry, this process doesn't end with treatments for us survivors.
Your hair is never the same, my eyelashes still aren't the same, and this 10 extra pounds I am carrying around from being in early menopause and taking Tamoxifen is an eye opener and not a good one. I know, you try to be positive and remind yourself you are alive, but why does it have to be with thin hair, no eyelashes, and  extra poundage? Oh, and let me not forget the hot flashes, problems sleeping, and no sex drive. They say "emotional changes" are an issue too, but being the good Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner I am, I got myself on medication for that before everyone around me left.

    So it hasn't been all sunshine and roses, BUT it is true, I AM ALIVE, and as Kanye and Kelly Clarkson both sing, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". My Bestie Shelly made me an inspirational CD and included these songs on it, She must have known.

So, its a busy week at work.......

but we'll all get through and I have an awesome weekend planned with my husband to celebrate my 48th Bday and being alive. We are headed to NYC for weekend for a Tri FecTa, 3 broadway shows in 2 days; 

So, that's it, my hair is growing, I am alive, and I am still having a ball! 

                       

It's Over

Scared ya, didn't I?
No post in a long time and then that title, but no worries, when I say IT is over I am addressing the self imposed no picture rule I had going the last 10 months.
I was able to blow out my hair today and I don't half mind it for the first time since I took the wigs off.
You ready, Here is what 10 months of hair growth post chemo and radiation looks like, at least for me.

 

It is still very curly and my bangs are not long enough yet,
but it is getting there. I have had it trimmed about three times, just the ends and I have colored it twice because it was coming in dark, almost black and grey, and we don't need that just yet.

Along with the no picture thing I have also been in a somewhat hibernation when it comes to social engagements, but last week I went to the Turning Stone Gala celebrating their 20th Anniversary and the opening of Exit 33. Andy was away at the Boyscout Jamboree and couldn't attend, so I went with my Collaborating Psychiatrist/friend from work, Wendy. Here we are:

So, sorry to keep you hanging with no post, just was having some issues working through the hair thing, but with the help of Wendy and my family and friends, I think I made it through another trial and tribulation of post cancerness!

February 2013

I know, it is February and I haven't blogged since December, so Happy New Year! 

We stayed in with the kids and had a quiet New Years Eve. That is until Psy came on Dick Clark's Rockin New Years Eve and we had to Gangnam! That was a sight and fortunate for me there were no cameras around to capture it. Ruby and I thought we looked like this.

Anyways. after the break it was back to work and a new semester for me and my college students. I absolutely love work. I love the people I work with, I love the students, I love being able to have interactions with the parents, and I love feeling like I am making a difference in these young adult lives. 

I am fortunate to have great parents nearby that make it possible for me to work and for my kids to still be able to follow their passions too. Ruby has really gotten into Gymnastics and is usually at the gym 4 days a week, 3 hrs. a day after school. My Mom has become her driving service, thanks Mom! Ruby has started competing and is doing great for just having started last Spring. Her is her team after taking second place at a meet in January.

Rex decided to focus on school and is working very hard on all his merit badges and project for his Eagle rank in boyscouts. He has become such a young, responsible man and it is awesome seeing him run the boyscout meetings and teaching the younger boys. They all look up to him and respect him so much. When I was younger I always thought being a boyscout was kinda geeky, but seeing it in action as a parent and seeing the man my boy has become because of it is an amazing thing.

My husband has been crazy busy with work which is a great thing and this time it is even better because it is fun, creative work with very nice clients. but you gotta have some fun sometimes, so he helped organize and participated in the 4th annual Polar Bear Plunge, burrrrr......

ok, enough about everyone else, let's get back to me, that's why you are all here and what you really want to hear about, right? 

I am physically doing very well. I had my three month follow up with Radiation Oncology and it went well. My skin is all back to normal and no permanent problems from the radiation. I have gained a few pounds from the Tamoxifen, but no other Side Effects from that. I am due back for my 3 month follow up with the Plastic Surgeon in March and we will discuss having an MRI. March will mark the one year anniversary of the last MRI that saved my life.

Yes, the hair is growing, not fast enough for me, but everyone else thinks it is pretty quick. It is quite curley. My stylist said everyone she has known post chemo has these curls initially and then once it gets trimmed the first time it seems to relax it a bit. I am going for my first trim in March sometime, until then it is this short, curly  mess style. I am dying not having bangs to cover my gigantic forehead and all those wrinkles there.

I had some fun myself in January and went skiing with Ruby and my neice and nephew. They are just learning to ski this year and they are doing fabulous and going to the top of the mountain already. Here is Ruby, Maddy, and I on chairlift.

That's about it for January. The boys are up at the castle this weekend, so I will be able to blog on that soon. I stayed back with Ruby cause she got the tummy bug and needed to stay close to the bathroom if you know what i mean, both ends!  Poor thing. So it is back to the couch and watching movies for us girls! 

I figured since it is still December for a few more days I better get my butt in gear and get blogging about this month. I am happy to say that this month was much like Decembers of the past. I get crazed and overwhelmed thinking I can't do it all and then I do it early and keep shopping and then everyone says I over do it.Well, as I told my sister in law, it was good to be alive and be able to over do it this year, so deal with it.

I had two follow up appointments this month. The first one was with Dr. Gil, my Plastic Surgeon, who started all this trouble this year. He says the boobies look and feel great. He says it doesn't even look like I went through the radiation as they still look so good. I will see him again in March and we'll do an MRI then.
My second follow up was my 6 month post Chemo. with Dr. Lemke, my Oncologist. She did some bloodwork and an exam and all looks great. She also said I was looking great. I will see her again in 3 months.
I have a follow up with Dr. Shapiro, the Radiation Oncologist in a few weeks, but I am feeling great, staying up late, no naps, and doing way too much again.

My hair is coming in, slow but sure. When I look back to last month and look at these pics, it looks like it is coming in a lot, but I am not a good waiter and I want it longer NOW! It has been coming back in black and gray, so I colored it. I figured if I heave to deal with it short, I could atleast do something about the color. It is also coming in very curly. The top and front is almost like an afro.
You know, you think when the treatment is over, all is back to being good and for the most part it is, but I really miss my hair and it is amazing how much your hair can impact your confidence and self esteem. I feel like I have to explain to everyone that this wasn't my hair choice and I know I look better with long hair.
I finally took the work wig off at work and everyone there has been very kind about my hair. Some still couldn't believe the wig was a wig to the point that one of the ladies said "why did she cut her hair, it looked so good long" GROW!

Since we are talking about work, let's talk some more. I love it! I love the students, I love my colleagues, I love it all. It  has been busy and I am sure it will be busy again, but I am OK with that because I have the time I need with each student to do some quality work. 

I went and saw Jason again! It was his last US show of this tour and his first time @ MSG. It was amazing , as usually, and just what I needed in the middle of all the holiday craze. Ruby & I went down to NYC for 2 days and stayed with our friends. We did some shopping, had some great meals, and saw the show. It was a quick trip, but well worth it.

 

and here is our XMAS 2012 card.

                                     
We are Om for the holidays & taking it easy. Andy is working lots, but the kids and I are hanging out at home together. It's nice the kids are such home bodies and like just sleeping in, watching movies, and playing games. We got to have three very special christmas celebrations with our families, I only drank too much at one! It was great being together with everyone.We might venture out into the cold this weekend and go skiing.

So that is it, I told you it wasn't that exciting, but that is OK with me, we had enough excitement all Spring and Summer! So ..........

talk to ya next year! 

November 2012

I am here and doing well, no worries Jeff, my blog friend who emailed me this week and was hoping all was well and missing the updates. I have actually been too busy to blog and not with medical things.

First, we have need to cover the matter of hair growth. Here it is, the past month's action on my head.

I

You can see in this last picture that it is getting thick. I have been massaging in Euphora Hair Thickening serum twice a day. There appears to be more black and less gray too.

We had Halloween this past month. We went to a friends party and I took the opportunity to pull out my mother's day Chemosabe headress for my costume. Andy, is of course, a classic Lone Ranger. he didn't break character all night, I think he missed his calling as an actor, he really loves getting dressed up and into character.

Doesn't this look inviting? This is my new office @ Syracuse University Health Services Psychiatry. I started working full time again on October 16th, so it's been about one month and I am surviving and loving it.

This is my work wig! Don't want to freak the students out with my extremely short hair at this point. I am hoping my January that my hair will be log enough to do away with the wig cause it gets kinda itchy under there.

Brand new Couple - my bestie Janet, from college, got married last weekend. yeah Janet and Chip, aren't they so cute and happy. It was my first wedding in a long time and I did not disappoint, I cried the minute she entered the church!

Old couple alert. here are Andy and I at the reception. It was great getting together with friends from college again, but we learned things are different when you wait to get married. Such as, no tail gating in the church parking lot before the ceremony and being ready to go home to bed by 9:30pm. Yes, we are getting old people.

 So, Thanksgiving is next week and we obviously have alot to be thankful for. I have made it through yet another battle with breast cancer, so now we can all move on to the real breast of the moment, Mr. Turkeys!

Happy Pink October

Some see the leaves falling from the trees in the fall, but every where you look, whether you are a thriver or not, is a sea of pink in October. My first bout with breast cancer started in the fall of 2008 and Pinktober was a bit much to process with everything else I was going through. I obviously made it through then and now I am ending my second bout of breast cancer in Pinktober. Let's hope that that starting and ending, in what was already my favorite month, is enough & the last I have to hear about this as far as my own health.
I know my job is not over. I have already received the dreaded phone call from a friend who just heard she has breast cancer and I will be right there by her side through this. Educating her, supporting her, crying, laughing, drinking, whatever she needs because that is my new job, well atleast another of my new jobs.

So I have been resting alot the last three weeks, Fall cleaning and organizing, and going to all my follow ups. My surgical follow up went well. The scars are healing nicely, no new lumps were detected in a very thorough breast exam, and I am tolerating the Tamoxifen just fine. Sure, I had the headaches & nausea the first few days, but you get that most times you start a new med. Now I just have the hot flashes, clothes and hat on, clothes and hat off.

My Radiation follow up went well. No more burn and skin is healing well. See. I saw a friend out recently and she was really disturbed by my last radiation picture, so I thought I would leave you with this one, which as you can see, is perfectly normal, no redness, swelling, or burning. I told you that Lucky Goat lotion was great and even my Doctor said that Lucky Goat is really doing a nice job! I was also instructed to massage my breast.I think I mentioned before that radiation can cause adhesions to the implants and those effects don't set in until after radiation is done, so massage helps prevent that from happening, Andy was happy to hear about this new job he is taking on for me.

Happy be free and Go Bald Day. 

There is a discrepancy on the internet as to the exact date, but it is sometime around now. A day to take off those hats, hair pieces, and scarves and be free!

 Hair update.

 I have more, as you can see here. I went to my hairdresser friend yesterday and she gave me a secret hair thickening solution for a hair welcoming gift, thank you for that by the way! Apparently if you put this serum on 2 times a day and massage it it, along with brushing your hair for 100 strokes, it stimulates the hair follicles and helps them grow faster and stronger. 

I  got what should be close to the last bill for my treatment yesterday. I thought it would be interesting to go back and see how much the price tag for breast cancer treatment is and this is what I found. For all the surgeries, doctors appointments, chemotherapy, and radiation the total cost was $130,000. Luckily, we have health insurance and the cost to us was $3,000 in bills, and of course the past 25 years we have paid into the health insurance. Point being is that we have lots of money going into finding cures and lots of money going into the latest advancements in treatment, but if people can't afford health insurance and don't have access to care, what good is it. Give to organizations that provide money to the uninsured to get the care they need. 

So I am starting my new job at Syracuse  University this coming Tuesday. I am excited and nervous. Excited about the job, nervous about the changes it will bring to the rest of my life, but I have a supportive husband and children, supportive family and friends, and I can do this with their help. I hear through the grapevine that the new office is also going to be watching out for me to make sure I don't over do it, I guess you would hope that is the case in a Health Service Center, but it was nice to hear because we all know I sometimes try to do too much and forget to stop and take care of myself.

So, yes I have been wearing lots of hats this summer, one at a time, but now it is time to put back on all my hats and get back to being just another working mom and wife trying to do it all.

I am grateful that there is so much support, awareness, and funds going into finding a cure this month and it is great that people who might feel like they can't make a difference or contribute otherwise have so many ways to participate, but let us not forget this doesn't stop on October 31st. Not for the ones who are newly diagnosed, not for their loved ones and friends, and not for you or people who have never been touched by this.
                               Keep becoming aware, keep getting involved, and keep fighting!